This really got me thinking about how my mind map might look. Some people say that the mind is so complicated like that of many pipelines connected with out points of nerves that work the muscle to push and pull. And reacting to every emotion. Just thought how my mind would look on paper might be colourful, messy or dull. What would really happen if I really wrote what I was thinking and drawing everything to link and reason bubbles or box. Box for title and bubbles for reasons.
I really think blogging won’t be enough. Settling and unsettling point of the true me would have been a sort after effect of how can this be…..!? Is this me?! All the wonder for what God has given us as human beings. Comes to think of it. That paper would have to way bigger then the bill board. Like a mad science guy. Formulas and puzzules. Oh great I shall stop. Arriving to meet my old time friend for coffe and smokes. Holland village.
Past few weeks had gone by at work without much hitches and sorts. With most time idling at work because of the long hours at work. I started to question God~ Does this company still need me even after the company shifts to a new place? (as the training academy is separated from the main office). It seems, on the day where I had to go back to do some staff at the main office which of course there was a back lot of paper shuffling to be done and at the same time having spent most time away from the main body of the company.
I was surprised that my immediate superior came to talk to me to see how were things going at the external training site. And yes, going through the process of answering his question came a very important TALK! Which of course I was scared….. He called me into the meeting room to tell me this.
Superior: I have been talking to the other management team members and they find that I was valued to the company.
(which after he asked)
Superior: What do you think of joining the team??? Permanently?
(I paused for like 3 to 4 second before answering)
Me: Well~ I definitely would like to join,(and i continued to say) But i need to adjust to company settings again which i hope is fast. (As i have been always working mostly alone at the training academy / centre and as an extension of the company).
At this point my mind had moved so much so that God actually had answered my question. And then again I went back to work wondering should I walk away from this job after I am done with this contract. (on basis of Little foot productions) Thinking about this project and thinking about the freedom that came with it. Like doing music again and side projects of designs and pre productions. Of course the struggle too being the boss.
Then another thought came in to my mind~ Will I be a white elephant in the company if the thing for support logistic and admin assistant is not needed? when the shift is done?
I came to only this conclusion. To support my side projects. I need capital. Which now i am short of. And maybe in time if God wills my life to do my own business then I will follow through. I pray that I really walk this straight and narrow. Thank God for the opportunities to open to which I need my proper stability finically and in mental too. I pray for the strength and guidance too. Spiritual clarity and pureness of heart in love in what ever i am called to do.
Right now still worried about what is about to happen!