What do you do when you get sent to the A&E and you get admitted at the age of 32? What do you do when the doctors tell you when your odds point to cancer? What do you do when you lookat yourself and think of the future? What do you do when all you do is think about the what could have happen?
I have just been confirmed by the doctor certified Chronic Myeloid Leukemia at the age of 32. Sad as it may seem I am at a loss for understading these conditions rights now. (Like winging it!) But i hav to face it soon ion 20 April 2016 which is just next week. With all that is going on now I am afriad of what can and might happen during the course of this effect. Losing my job for that matter. Losing the energy to serve and play drum for music ministry. Change of alot of lifestyle habits. Going into debt. Going on with no end. Losing the understanding of God’s love. Losing faith. Breaking bones. Easliy getting sick. Not being able to work for atleast 2 years or even two hours in a day. Not having enough money to support these treatments. I still have not read the side effectsof the meds I have to take. 1’s way cheap and the others are way too expensive. I am at a loss for words. Fatigue is like common feature now and I can’t concentrate as much. My mind is everywhere.Having a little bit more time to myself is also good but still don’t have any clue what to do as of now. Stuck in the middle. Feelings are up and down. Sleep is still a hard thing to do to slep on time and getting up on time. My mind is still racing. Which is weird. Even after being warded.
I do thank God for the nurses in my ward or being so understanding and also the counselors too. I was surrounded by sick old people. I was the only 32 year old there. I felt so weird at that moment. Singapore is really just to expensive. Medical bills are way to high or that matter too. Even doctors have to help with the gray lines and round abouts. I still than God for fmily and friends and colleugues too for all their prayers. My mind, heart and soul is still in shock rom what I am hearing and going to hear in the next few months. Haven’t sek he Lord proper.
Just a small quote in proclaiming what God can do for us as sons and daughters in Christ. Thinking & speaking and proclaiming God’s gifts and staying in that light. Something small I picked up while listening to Bill Johnson sermon. In the beginning of the sermon that turn into prayer in proclaiming God’s promises and gifts. Prosperity in living with a purpose in spreading the word of God to sowing seeds in giving to others when we have enough in and from God.
Just simple stuff or pointers I picked up when I was listening to it.
Proclaiming the 5 Streams of income:
1. Interest in income / growing interest in income. (I hope that is a right pointer)
2. Rebate returns.
3. Cheque’s in the mail. (Bonuses from God)
4. Gift surprises.
5. Finding money. (It really just might drop out of the sky)
As we (christians) are working and getting blessed by the Lord we should also bless others too. And feed the poor too. As we practice giving time and love and money to fund other peoples lifes I pray that God will give you wisdom in managing finances and other short comings we have.
I find things might just get a little a harder when my mentor leaves this current company. In every manner of speaking right now I have no backer but God and God alone. Consider this as a hard stand with people and righteousness as politics calls in for every of ….,. Selfishness! How much more can you and I take to a very big extent of unwanted pain and useless banter. Which does waste time. I pray that in my current situations that everyone progresses in the right manner as christians. But are We doing it right?
A few thing I have learnt from my mentor was to give due respect to leaders and even manage yourself as a person. He has this verse in the bible he always says:
Philippians 4:New King James Version (NKJV)
13 I can do all things through Christ[a] who strengthens me.
– the superman verse. There is no give for weakness /complacency.
I’ll leave you to think for what can be achieved of what we all can be and can become when doing RIGHT! Standing right for me is also hard especially against selfishness. (Unless you have a reason for it!) Then act upon being more like Jesus. Work with long-suffering! I pray that each day that we learn to be more like Jesus and may peace be upon the restless & heavy hearts that are fighting internal wars at the work, inviting God’s presence into your workplace. AMEN!
Brains and more then brains! Things we think we can handle but in most times we are over stimulated.
A case of the crazies intended to null you. Both ways taking your time away from God and life itself. So just take some time to think over bearing TV dramas that shape the attitudes and emotions.
Get a book to read and learn more. Or just spend time with God!
Since I am here why not log!?
Past few days I feel like I have turned my back on God going back to old habits. But I am trying to stay positive and trying to stick to the straight and narrow road that He has given me.
Hard enough finding time after signing the contract including the shift of the company.
Right now my learning statues is …..
1. Trying not to spend to much money on things that are not needed.
2. Trying to save more.
3. Applying daily bible read and journaling.
4. Complete a book or books that i need to read.
5. Sitting down to pray more and and spending time in God presence.
6. Asking for a soundmind from God.
7. Tithing and church building project offering.
8. Concentration at work.
9. Peace and proper rest.
10. Memory training like memorising bible verses.
11. To plan for future career.
12. Not to turn back!
13. Start a simple project.
14. Save up to buy drum set and other drum equipment.
15. and the list goes on…………….
This is all for now but I pray that the next year I will find joy in everything I do even at work and in service to God in church. Playing drums and singing is all I can do for God.
Thank God for his mercies are new every morning!!!!
Past few weeks had gone by at work without much hitches and sorts. With most time idling at work because of the long hours at work. I started to question God~ Does this company still need me even after the company shifts to a new place? (as the training academy is separated from the main office). It seems, on the day where I had to go back to do some staff at the main office which of course there was a back lot of paper shuffling to be done and at the same time having spent most time away from the main body of the company.
I was surprised that my immediate superior came to talk to me to see how were things going at the external training site. And yes, going through the process of answering his question came a very important TALK! Which of course I was scared….. He called me into the meeting room to tell me this.
Superior: I have been talking to the other management team members and they find that I was valued to the company.
(which after he asked)
Superior: What do you think of joining the team??? Permanently?
(I paused for like 3 to 4 second before answering)
Me: Well~ I definitely would like to join,(and i continued to say) But i need to adjust to company settings again which i hope is fast. (As i have been always working mostly alone at the training academy / centre and as an extension of the company).
At this point my mind had moved so much so that God actually had answered my question. And then again I went back to work wondering should I walk away from this job after I am done with this contract. (on basis of Little foot productions) Thinking about this project and thinking about the freedom that came with it. Like doing music again and side projects of designs and pre productions. Of course the struggle too being the boss.
Then another thought came in to my mind~ Will I be a white elephant in the company if the thing for support logistic and admin assistant is not needed? when the shift is done?
I came to only this conclusion. To support my side projects. I need capital. Which now i am short of. And maybe in time if God wills my life to do my own business then I will follow through. I pray that I really walk this straight and narrow. Thank God for the opportunities to open to which I need my proper stability finically and in mental too. I pray for the strength and guidance too. Spiritual clarity and pureness of heart in love in what ever i am called to do.
Right now still worried about what is about to happen!
For the last few months in my church, the sermons have been moving into God’s peace, being still, prayer & compassion. Which I feel that as Christian’s we should always be looking out for each other and praying for one another and to spend time with God .
For me at this time having semi heavy hours work in an office setting for the first time we all just have to take time to REFLECT with God. Keeping it God centered in every aspect of our life. Just an encouragement to others. Try sitting down for like 5 mins even however possible or busy your life may be.
Just do a simple reflection and you might see a difference in having a sound mind and peace with what Jesus has taught in the Bible. 2 Timothy 1:7
Words with right motives have power. Wrong motives calls for trouble in every sense.
This is just a simple blog shop in the making. I have to many ideas to put down and to much to comprehend so feel free give ideas if needed or if you want to. I will try an update my blog site every once a month as i have a current job. Stating this is just a step to what I am going to do or even sell. My bio will be in by next month as i am busy with work so please bare with me as i take this journey. Some book reviews will also be in and notes about life my and other stuff to in this journey