What do you do when you get sent to the A&E and you get admitted at the age of 32? What do you do when the doctors tell you when your odds point to cancer? What do you do when you lookat yourself and think of the future? What do you do when all you do is think about the what could have happen?
I have just been confirmed by the doctor certified Chronic Myeloid Leukemia at the age of 32. Sad as it may seem I am at a loss for understading these conditions rights now. (Like winging it!) But i hav to face it soon ion 20 April 2016 which is just next week. With all that is going on now I am afriad of what can and might happen during the course of this effect. Losing my job for that matter. Losing the energy to serve and play drum for music ministry. Change of alot of lifestyle habits. Going into debt. Going on with no end. Losing the understanding of God’s love. Losing faith. Breaking bones. Easliy getting sick. Not being able to work for atleast 2 years or even two hours in a day. Not having enough money to support these treatments. I still have not read the side effectsof the meds I have to take. 1’s way cheap and the others are way too expensive. I am at a loss for words. Fatigue is like common feature now and I can’t concentrate as much. My mind is everywhere.Having a little bit more time to myself is also good but still don’t have any clue what to do as of now. Stuck in the middle. Feelings are up and down. Sleep is still a hard thing to do to slep on time and getting up on time. My mind is still racing. Which is weird. Even after being warded.
I do thank God for the nurses in my ward or being so understanding and also the counselors too. I was surrounded by sick old people. I was the only 32 year old there. I felt so weird at that moment. Singapore is really just to expensive. Medical bills are way to high or that matter too. Even doctors have to help with the gray lines and round abouts. I still than God for fmily and friends and colleugues too for all their prayers. My mind, heart and soul is still in shock rom what I am hearing and going to hear in the next few months. Haven’t sek he Lord proper.